The New Rules of Marriage

The New Rules of Marriage

What You Need to Know to Make Love Work

Book - 2007
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In his extraordinary new book, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and bestselling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren't crazy--you're right!

Women have changed in the last twenty-five years--they have become powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Yet many men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don't know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up.

Enter the good news: In this revolutionary book, Real shows women how to master the new rules of twenty-first-century marriage by offering them a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve. He identifies five non-starters to avoid and shares practical strategies for bringing honesty, passion, and joy back to even the most difficult relationship. Using his experience helping thousands of couples shift from despair to profound emotional closeness, Real guides you through the process of relationship repair with exercises that you can do alone or with your partner. With this program you'll discover how to

- identify and articulate your wants and needs
- listen well and respond generously
- set limits, and stand up for yourself
- embrace and appreciate what you have
- know when to seek outside help

The New Rules of Marriage will introduce you to a radically new kind of relationship, one based on the idea that every woman has the power to transform her marriage, while men, given the right support, have it in them to rise to the occasion.

We have never wanted so much from our relationships as we do today. More than any other generation, we yearn for our mates to be lifelong friends and lovers. The New Rules of Marriage shows us how to fulfill this courageous and uncompromising new vision.
Publisher: New York : Ballantine, [2007]
Copyright Date: ©2007
ISBN: 9781400064014
Branch Call Number: 646.78 Rea
Characteristics: xvi, 299 pages ; 25 cm


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May 30, 2015

Going through some tough times in my life and marriage, I found this book just by browsing "related books". At first I thought it was a selling gimmic by making it sound Y2k like to point as the problem. It intrigued me non the less, because today's tech and social media does play a role in some parts of my marriage problems, so I though it may give some insight, if not a laugh.
Well, I tell you that this book is nothing of a gimmic. The author explains a lot on expectations that we have - because of the past ways up to what and how it is now to be in a relationship. Demands and expectations have dramatically changed, and our society's view can be a problem.
This book, with some of it's exercises helped me feel like i can gain more control over myself and my insecurities, while helping me put to action some ideas to connect again.
The only down part(s) is that you can tell it's a guy writer, (every time he mentions a female client, he is foremost informative on how well she looks) which become annoying and broke the groove of getting into what lesson he was trying to convey. Also, though he does forewarn that when he speaks of women and men are generally like this or that due to statistics and past views, I found that my situation and problems were on the opposite of what he said it was. For example - I am a stay at home father putting in work into the home and kids, working part time. Where it gets frustrating is that I can relate to what he says a guy does, feels or expects, I can also relate to the scenarios of being the house wife expecting something from the working husband - which gets confusing on how to fix my issues. Anyways, this could get confusing to explain!
Overall, a very good read, and worth some personal work that you can do with it, should you, guy or girl, need to do.

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