10 Conversations You Need to Have With your Children

10 Conversations You Need to Have With your Children

Book - 2006
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Why do I have to repeat everything? Why does every conversation end in an argument?

Communicating with our children. Conversing. Connecting. When did it become so difficult? And how do we begin to change it for the better?

This book was designed to help parents answer these important questions, and it is based on two fundamental ideas: The first is that there are no bad children, and no deliberately bad parents -- but that sometimes, despite the best of intentions on both sides, there can be bad relationships between parents and children. The second is that, as parents, we must do everything we can to save those relationships, to reach out and really communicate with our children, because it is only through talking to them that we can create an environment for inspiration and change.

In this compelling book, Shmuley Boteach, passionate social commentator and outspoken relationship guru, walks you through the critical conversations, including: cherishing childhood; developing intellectual curiosity; knowing who you are and what you want to become; learning to forgive; realizing the importance of family and tradition; being fearless and courageous. As a father of eight, Rabbi Shmuley speaks from a wealth of experience. He has written a book for parents of children of all ages, from toddlers, who are just beginning to become aware of the world around them, to adolescents, who must learn to navigate all sorts of tricky social and academic pressures.

10 Conversations will help you stay connected to your children so that they develop the kind of strong moral character that leads to rich, meaningful lives.
Publisher: New York : Regan, [2006]
Copyright Date: ©2006
ISBN: 9780061134814
Branch Call Number: 649.7 Bot
Characteristics: ix, 194 pages ; 20 cm


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Jan 22, 2016

Much of this is common sense--talk to your children about things that matter--love, dignity, the family and who they want to be in their lives. Having these conversations and focusing on our children with our full attention gives our children strength and resilience, because they are loved. This book jibes with my values and worldview.

Jan 04, 2015

I liked the premise of this book, and that's why I picked it up--what did this author think are the 10 most important conversations to have with your kids. The author has much experience to draw on, what with being a parent and a family counselor. It's nice to read how he interacts with his own children. I agree wholeheartedly with most of his main points:
-help your child(ren) differentiate between social pressure and internal will,
-"the easy choice is seldom the right choice",
-"what kind of a person do you want to be?",
-help them have a happy childhood and live in the moment,
-don't let others determine your own self-esteem
-encourage intellectual curiosity
-bring them out of their virtual world because "life itself is exciting"
-"learn to be satisfied"
-every human being has dignity
-no one should be made to feel inferior
-forgiveness, family, tradition, love
-fear may mean you're feeling alone
-each person must decide his/her own value
-"do the right thing because it is right."

There are a few times I feel like the author veered off course: in the "Honoring the Feminine" chapter, he tends to generalize about women ("it is the wife how brings peacefulness into the home. It is the wife who cures the brokenness of the American male.") It seemed like he was overcompensating for some prior denigration of women he might have come out with at some earlier time.

The biggest problem I had was with the mythology chapter he titled "God". While I appreciate his viewpoint that Jewish people are encouraged to challenge their god and that they "have a right to demand justice from God", I can't imagine telling my son that "God controls the world". The random things that happen in our own lives, not to mention in the world at large, clearly show that no being is in control. Instead of having a god's approval determine our actions, we teach our son to "do the right thing because it is right." WE are the moral authority in our universe, WE are responsible for our actions, and we will have to live, and die, knowing that.

Growing up answering to the Catholic version of god, and my own earthly father, as the highest authorities in my life, I still don't do things under the auspices of pleasing either of them. I am nice, I am kind, I help other people. Some might argue that my father and the church's god instilled that in me, but I see it as a basic part of humanity.

Nov 04, 2007

I liked this book except when he insulted liberals and people who believe in evolution.

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