We Are Never Meeting in Real Life

We Are Never Meeting in Real Life


Book - 2017
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A New York Times Bestseller

This essay collection from the "bitches gotta eat" blogger, writer on Hulu's Shrill , and "one of our country's most fierce and foulmouthed authors" (Amber Tamblyn, Vulture ) is sure to make you alternately cackle with glee and cry real tears.

Whether Samantha Irby is talking about how her difficult childhood has led to a problem in making "adult" budgets; explaining why she should be the new Bachelorette (she's "35-ish, but could easily pass for 60-something"); detailing a disastrous pilgrimage-slash-romantic-vacation to Nashville to scatter her estranged father's ashes; sharing awkward sexual encounters; or dispensing advice on how to navigate friendships with former drinking buddies who are now suburban moms (hang in there for the Costco loot!); she's as deft at poking fun at the ghosts of her past self as she is at capturing powerful emotional truths.
Publisher: New York : Vintage Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, 2017.
ISBN: 9781101912195
Branch Call Number: 814.6 Irby
Characteristics: xii, 275 pages ; 21 cm


From Library Staff

The fresh and insightful memoir of blogger and comedian Samantha Irby, a 35-ish bachelorette navigating life, love, mental health and physical challenges with indefatigable humour and wit.

From the critics

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Jun 17, 2019

With 14 years between writing her first and second essay collections, I found Irby’s content to be richer, more meaningful, even when on the surface it wouldn’t appear that way.

Apr 11, 2019

She’s a clever writer but her essays are uneven. Some are definitely better than others. She shines brightest when writing about her complicated relationship with her father. She’s very self-deprecating, but there is comfort with it and you find yourself connecting with the author. Overall, I enjoyed her insights, although she can be a little crass. Definitely worth reading and discussing in book club. She’s definitely a voice for the 21 century.

DBRL_JessicaM Sep 10, 2018

"We are Never Meeting in Real Life" felt like a progressive movement for Irby from "Meaty." A lot of the essays echoed each other, but they showed personal growth in her work. Meaty dives into Irby's personal life in the blogger style writing that she's used to, but the maturity in her writing is more present in this piece. It slows down and focuses on the scene more, rather than telling us how we should feel about her experiences.

Aug 31, 2018

Also, "Shrill" (Lindy West), "Bad Feminist" (Roxanne Gay), "You Can't Touch My Hair" (Jessica Robinson).

Aug 15, 2018

I am both embarrassed and elated by how much I related to the author of this collection.

Apr 21, 2018

This book is incredible! It's not for the faint of heart, or those easily offended by profanity. Her writing has that fantastic, convoluted, witty style that I remember from reading her blog. Irby's observations about life are candid, and there's a fair share of heavy stuff. But this book made me chuckle, laugh, screech, cry, weep, giggle, scream, and then laugh again. Amazing.

Apr 18, 2018

Much hilarity, and also breathtaking sadness, as Samantha Irby chronicles her attempts to navigate modern urban adulthood, heartbreaking family tragedies, and the pitfalls of contemporary dating, while struggling with multiple health and economic challenges. At times I found her comedic viewpoint to be similar to Amy Schumer's "Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo", but her experiences, background (African-American midwesterner) and unique take on 21st century womanhood are highly entertaining. If you want to sample just one essay to get a sense of the book, I would recommend "Yo, I Need A Job" about her14 years as the administrator of a veterinary clinic.

Apr 09, 2018

I was drawn to this book by the kitten on the cover and the promise of humour, but was put off by the coarse language. Still, I read on to learn about the kitten. The story was disturbing. Although Helen the kitten was in rough shape arriving at the animal hospital where the author worked, they didn’t connect because of her persistent hissing. The “disgusting garbage monster” (one of the lighter labels) refused to die, thanks to “Satan or Xenu or some other diabolical deity.” Somehow the author ended up taking the kitten home, where they continued an unhappy seven-year relationship: “I hate this bitch and she hates me.” The author says, “I know I should feel happy that she survived her harsh early life, but I had a bad childhood, too,” which may account for her prickliness. In a later essay, more of a connection with Helen is revealed when multiple health problems are diagnosed prior to her passing. Still, expressing hatred toward an innocent animal does not strike me as amusing.

JCLJessecaB Mar 24, 2018

I love this book! This is a great collection of laugh-out-loud stories mixed with poignant, thought-provoking essays. You can read it straight through or you can read the chapters in random order; either way you're in for a treat.

Nov 30, 2017

Very enjoyable. Some funny essays with cool point of view.

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