La VisiteDVD - 2015
Closed captioned for the hearing impaired.
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Grandma: Why are your pants so low?
Tyler: I rap.
Daughter: It's a form of modern poetry... if you give him a topic, he'll extemporaneously rhyme on the subject. His stage nom de plume is "T-Diamond Stylus." Go ahead, Nana, give him anything!
Grandma: Is food okay? I like food.
Daughter: Yeah. Of course!
Grandma: How about... pineapple upside-down cake?
Tyler: Yeah... sure, why not? Okay... mmm-hmm! Okay! Got it. Okay... the girls, they like me, they think I'm sweet like candy! One girl looked at me like I was a Hershey bar! Her name was Angie, and a few tall girls,they just looked at me blankly! So here's the thing you got to understand about me, I got more rhymes than a beehive has bees! So it didn't surprise, confuse or make me say "For heaven's sake", when a Hawaiian girl with a balance disorder said "You remind me of a pineapple upside-down cake"! Ho!
At the end of high school, I fell in love with a substitute English teacher. It was quite a scandal. Corin didn't start out a bad guy, though. We were together about 10 years and we had two kids. And then he fell in love with someone in a Starbucks, and moved to Palo Alto, California.
Becca: Our mother, Loretta Jamison, is dating an eligible and rather rakish-looking man named Miguel Diego Torres. He's in love with her. We've decided to promote this union by giving them time. They're going on a trip. Mm-hmm. A Royal Caribbean cruise. Your basic beach cruise. We're visiting our grandparents, whom we have never seen. We don't know their temperament or their proclivities.
Tyler: Yeah. And we don't even know what they like. They--They could be scrapbookers. They could think boy bands are cute.
Tyler rapping: Girl, I'm chillin' again I'm feelin' again. I'm like Iron Man and Batman. I'm a hero again. Oh! You think I'm little, but last month I grew an inch and a quarter again. You think you're too good for me, but that's really a joke. 'Cause, see, that doesn't bother me. 'Cause I'm not a sensitive bloke, oh! Now, in the end, you'll be in my bed, we won't be just friends. You'll write inappropriate texts and hit "send".
Tyler rapping: ... So here's a few things T-Diamond learned from visiting elders. Adult diapers
come in many a name. There's Attends and Depends, and Medline and Prevail. But they all the same. They keep your ...
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