Home Sweet HellDVD - 2015
Closed captioned for the hearing impaired.
From the critics
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We're gonna achieve our goals, Don... because we have standards and strategy. Now, focus!
-It's hard to stay focused when I've got this healthy erection.
We will have sex on the 9th... as scheduled. Until then you can take care of yourself.
Mona, we're married. We are supposed to be a little kinky. We're supposed to have sex more than six times a year!
-Well, if you wouldn't pressure me...
I am a man, Mona! I have needs! You obviously do not!
Do you care for me?
-More than the moon and the stars.
That's really good to know.
How much do you love me? How much do you care? Spare me no details, my sweet
- Spare me no details, my sweet
My little cuddle-bear
- My little cuddle-bear
More than the moon, And the stars up above
Well, paranoia is just total awareness.
"You're my daddy! You used to throttle my mommy. Give me money."
Mona made me do it!
Do not get weak, Don! This tramp is trying to tear apart our family. How dare you not try to fight for that.
- hat's not what I meant.
This is about our legacy.
-Are you sure there's no other way?
There is only ever my way.
You're gonna need to pick up some more trash bags from Costco tomorrow. I'd write it down for you, but I'm just covered in that girl. Just distasteful. FYI, I'm hiring the next employee. Now, grab a shovel. We need to fertilize the garden with your hooker.
To wives and sweethearts. May they never meet.
I think it's his wife's money.
Oh, babe. I didn't mean...
-Listen, don't think ever.
I will not put myself through that. What would our friends think? What would the community think? We'd be the laughingstock of this entire city.
That wife was not a very good person.
I love you, Don.
-I love you too.
But if you ever talk to me like that again... I will end you.
We don't want Mona to find out.
- No, we don't. Because then that would be another dead body I'd have to look into.
I will do this.
- No, you won't!
Yes, I want to do this.
- No, I want to do it more.
He said he was going to rape us?
-Yeah, the whole family.
At the same time?
Those are drugs.
-No shit, Don. It's meth. That is gonna get you high. Now, Don, you're gonna do this, and then I'll trust you. You don't...
I have a genetic mitral valve prolapse. I can't even drink coffee.
I'm just a furniture salesman.
-You are so much more than just a furniture salesman, Don. You are my husband. You are the father of my children.
We have goals, we have a family... and we're not gonna let a little infidelity get in the way of that. It's gonna take a little time to heal...but ultimately we'll be better partners because of it.
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